17 November, 2015

The Vulvic Trans-Missionary... soon to be released.

It has been some time since I've updated this blog and shared new work here. Times have been busy but there is a lot in the works and much that has been done... 

I would like to announce that my 2nd book, The Vulvic Trans-Missionary, will soon be going to print.  There have been a number of trials in getting the book to this stage. A number of edits and revisions. I know I personally have long waited for this and I hope that many of you have as well. For any looking for information on this publication, please see the following... 

Being an Illumination of Gnostic Revelation

...a re-imagining of primal myth. Reaching backwards in time to bring forth and present a cohesive ideological perspective upon the perennial creation myth, its point of origin, and its basis in an essential and yet hidden a-cosmic gnosis. A short treatise and examination of the Void as substratum-of-being and an investigation into the mythical and cosmological traditions of various cultures throughout history. Herein offered as a mask, a visage, a vast array of images and prose giving face and voice to the Sacred Feminine as manifestation and personification of Nothingness; the darkness as both womb and tomb of all being.

This is my second book, following the release of Whisperings from the Void: The Amaranthine Arcanum of Holy Image and Revealed Exegesis, and is also being released through:

The work is approx. 130 pages, with over 40 illustrations displaying via image a number of arcana meant to reify a number of mysteries adumbrating an understanding of the Goddess and Divine Feminine as the substratum of all creation. The main body of this work is The Vulvic Trans-Missionary, which is a 33 verse prose piece, detailing via the mask of words, a personal philosophy that comes from a direct experience with the subject matter contained therein. This work, by way of a fortuitous turn, contains a Foreword written by Shani Oates, as well. One which I feel does great justice to the work and would have, in some ways, been incomplete without it. I am also indebted to my dear friend and Brother-in-Arte, Gabriel McCaughry, of Anathema Publishing, for his help with image enhancement that added the finishing touches to the work. 

The entire work is composed of four chapters: 

Foreword: An Infernal Paean...

(Which was lovingly and graciously penned by Shani Oates. I am ever thankful for her contribution to this work. Her words contribute to a much greater understanding and overall elucidation of my own work. ) 

Historia Nihilo...

(Which is a 31 page essay describing in detail the meaning and purpose behind The Vulvic Trans-Missionary as an overall work, and examines the perennial myth, inherent in a number of cultures and societies throughout time, of the Void, as both beginning and ending of all creation. The Great Cauldron of all time and of all space. The ever spacious and all consuming mystery of the Goddess as the Embodiment of the Dark and of the Night, of the Abyss. Along with this essay appears a series of four illustrations that are collectively known as The Vessels of the Void.)

The Vulvic Trans-Missionary..

(This chapter is where the book takes its title, and is comprised of a series of 33 verses that are as a whole known as The Vulvic Trans-Missionary. Together they seek to illuminate a dark gnosis that has become known to me over the years and through my personal praxis with Her, the Goddess, the Divine Feminine, known by names innumerable. Companion to this section is a series of illustrations known as The Spectral Effigies, 33 in number. Along side each verse is also what has come to called The Pictograms of the Void and are meant to function as sacred keys to doors that lead forth unto vistas of the soul and of spirit.)

A Rite of the Darkness Illuminated...

(The book concludes with a ritual known as A Rite of the Darkness Illuminated and is, in effect, a devotional to the immenseness of Her and of one's obeisance to Her law. Wherein we return to the pivotal moment of inception within Her being to acknowledge the Divine Light within our own beings, and come to face Her as the dark and sublime mirror that shows us the truth of ourselves.)

The pre-order phase for this work has expired but once we know the date that the books will be published and in, there will be an announcement detailing remaining copies that most likely be made available via Aeon Sophia Press' website... 

I will also make every effort to update this space, my official website, and other social media platforms that I use. 

Important links: 

Shadows of Midnight  ...my official website.

15 January, 2015

A Voice speaks from the Emptiness...

~ And Her name is Mystery ~

© Patrick John Larabee/2015

Liminal Manifestations...

Trans-Liminal Lord of the Cross'd-Roads:
The Apotheotic Stance of Death

© Patrick John Larabee

Voidful Formations...

~ Death Moon Rising ~

 ~ Manifestation of the Black Sun: Lord of Shades ~

14 May, 2014

A new series 'Totemic' that is currently in progress will portray a number of totemic and allied spiritual entities that are deal specifically with the areas of folk tradition and the Traditional Witchcraft and Sorcerous currents...

 Totemic I: Cervus....
Totemic II: Lepus...

Images are © Patrick Larabee & Shadows of Midnight.

08 September, 2013

Ikonic Triumvirate of Eidolonaic Visions...

~ Azazel-Ha-Arava ~

"O' Lord of Fire-Burning Brightness, Azazel!
I call Thee forth from the Outer-Most-Regions of the Red Deserts of
Forbidden Knowledge, Forgotten Thoughts, and Forsaken Desires.
Through the Wastes of Dudael, beyond the very Edges of the Earth,
my Voice is heard and unto You I beckon, listen to the Words.

~ Lilith-Aridatha ~

"Ah Lilith! Lady of the Starry Heavens,
and Mother of the Wise-blooded Cunning-folk
sprung forth from the Seed of Qayin.
I call out to Thee in the Desolate Places of
Wilderness: let Thy Spirit of Fire emanate from
above and illuminate the Earthly Circle
of mine own Arte!

~ Dar-Akh-Qayin: Lepunae ~

"I call out into the Darkness and Spaces In-Between.
To you QAYIN, master of Flame.
Brother in the Twilight Artes of Magick Arcane,
Father of the Bloodlines, both Spirit and Flesh,
like two Serpents Twain!"

* Images and text ©Patrick J. Larabee and Aeon Sophia Press.
Text is from my book Whisperings from the Void 
& images are from an unpublished manuscript.

27 January, 2013

A road beyond the stars...

The witches sabbat, that ancient and nocturnal rite of the night, a super-sensory feast of the flesh and of the soul, that has held both sorcerer and cowan alike in fascinated awe for centuries. It has been spoken of in various guises and has been a part of myriad traditions of the witch and sorcerer through numerous cultures and various times, always being seen as that terrestrial rite that opens the doorways into the hidden worlds of the Other.

There were many ways by which one might get themselves to the sabbat: trance, unguents and salves that were rubbed into the flesh, certain herbs and mixtures burnt as offerings, and yet, it is my belief that there was and must be already established a certain kind of resonance and disposition that allowed such to affect the phsyiology and psychology of the one who wished to traverse the vast expanses that lay between the worlds of man and of spirit; that very few who actually undertake the initiatory ordeals and the transgressive acts that allowed one to perform this leaving behind of the body was reserved for a special few. I do not mean this to say that certain peoples are barred from such experiences due to some arcane and special right reserved for the elect, but that it seems that it was more of an individual trait that one either was born with or developed through hard work and proper training.

It seems that not all who attend the earthly sabbat, as such, are going to be taken to the astral, or dream't sabbat, but this does not mean that those who attend its earthly rites shall be forsaken; for even they, the less convinced brethren, who come unto this holy and sacred ecstatic revelry shall not be denied at least some small glimpse of the gnostic revelation that is inherent within its design. There is within the signs and gestures, the words and dances, within the very nature of the sabbat itself, a forbidden knowledge that can only be opened by those who partake of its mysteries, whether earthly or spiritual, empyrean or infernal. The sabbat is more than a rite of sexuality and inversion, yet in these too can be found a certain secret widsom. Over long periods of time the sabbat began to act as an interface between dimensions, it was a bridge between the world of the living and the realms of the dead. It was the demarcation of space, wherever it may be, that placed it in-between times, it was about liminality and reversion, a primordial uprising of chaos within the structured aspects of the ordered cosmos, essentially one could say it was about experiencing total freedom unrestrained and no longer fettered by the worlds of man or flesh.

The sabbat was no mere dream however, it was a very real occurrence to those who experienced it and continues to be for those who now and always will seek out its forever gateless garden. It is not a location which one comes to by any normal routes, although there are time honoured traditions and methods of which we might avail ourselves that will help us get there. One is either taken up in the ecstatic flight of the soul, lifted up from the body and set to soaring through the trans-mundane realms, at which some point they simply find themselves there, or they are not.

However, it must be said that hard work counts for much in this endeavour and that to knock on the non-existent door will afford one much if their soul, desire, will, and belief, be true. There is a deep and emotional connection that binds one to this astral solidarity, it is the spiritual heredity that marks one as being accepted unto this twilight rite that exists between all of the worlds and yet occupies none. It is this mark, this desire, that is in essence the key that opens the portals between this world and the next, it is a voiceless voice, a motionless movement, a certain leap of consciousness, that turns the invisible key that shall allow this conclave of delight and terror to be entered. It is not by any direct route that one comes unto this ecstatic revelry, for the sabbat occupies a hidden dimension outside of space and time and must be viewed as subsisting within a locality that is trans-mundane that exceeds and overthrows that logic and reason of waking reality.

It is written clearly, in old church records, historical accounts, etc, etc, that the sabbat was ruled over by the Devil, Old Scratch, Baphomet, as he was seen as the Master of the Witches. It is him that we see in the images of the witches sabbat, always seated in some throne above his congregation, or perhaps in the centre of a circle of witches, or perhaps on some meadow at night leading his devotees in some dance; he was in a manner of speaking the doorway through which they would slip into the other-side. This might be a strange way of looking at it, but one must take into account the concept that the Devil was more than just a being, he also typified a certain type of power, a power of reversion, of utter chaos and wilderness, total freedom from the world of man. He was also seen as the power of Death and yet he was not just Death, but the embodiment of the realms of the dead as well. His name as the Man-in-Black was meant to signify that he was also the embodiment and living representation of the very Void itself. One could perhaps see him fulfilling the same function as Legba in Voudou, or Elleggua in Santeria, or even St. Peter in the Catholicism, more than just a being he was the very bridge between the worlds, the light in the darkness that we sought to illuminate the expansive vistas of the soul.

The God of the Sabbat, Baphomet, so-called, was and is the gateway unto the Void, the vast and infinite Body of the Eternal Goddess that lies behind and beyond the ephemeral illusory manifestation of the cosmos, this mighty and dreadful lord occupies a transitional and liminal state of being outside of the boundaries of the conditional and constrained existence as humans bound to the flesh. As the god of the cross'd-roads he became a manifestation of the world tree that issued forth from the vulvic portal of the eternal now, that gateway that leads both to and from the other-side; it is through this interstitial gateway that a dream door opens out into the immense and infinite realms of soul and spirit. Baphomet is the All in One, the One in All, Male and Female, Beast and Man, Darkness and Light, the perfection of the totality of being and non-being; a pure and pristine model of the exceptional and perfectly desired schema of both earthly and spiritual evolution.

There exists within all facets of the existent, within every particle of the cosmos, a primal seed that burns with the fire of the beginning. It is this primordial state of being which all things have and hold as their base cause, that we seek to return to when we enter the domain of the sabbat. It is the realm of upheaval, the route of misrule, the road of chaos, that leads to the world of light. It is not by mere chance that these pathways have come into being. There was and still is, within the very heart of man, a very real need for one to be able to turn back, to leap forth and return to the original chaotic and non-human dimensions of the worlds that existed before the world of man. We seek that eternal and infinite womb of all creation, it is the way of return to that which we issued forth from.


In a world where we have been forced into a life of routine and trapped within the cells of our minds through the conventional, we have sought to create a method of experiencing that which is truly called life. The sabbat does this, it allows us to escape that which has become our death, not the death of bodies, but the death of feeling, of living. That ancient and primaeval state of being which burst forth in the creation of the cosmos is still there, a vast and eternal mirror of darkness, reflecting upon itself a trillion forms of being, and it is by confronting this immense and annihilating mirror of the void that we come to understand that we too are simply reflections cast upon the darkness.

© Patrick J. Larabee

20 December, 2012

Delineations of the darkness....

Mandrake: The Death Light

Penetrate Peroketh: Da'athian Ingression

The Serpent in the Tree of Knowledge

The Aureole of Qayin

The Sacred Heart of Death

The Umbrageous Idol of the Grim Garden

"I am an immeasurable immensity - spacious spiritual-field - incarnating via the matrix of time and space: assumption of reality through usurping the flesh; all body is my body and may be taken when desire deems the dream to be in its favour. To live is to die, to dream is to be; but if thou dream, dream beyond that which you can conceive - I am the imagination of God(s)-head and through me all is possibility, for I am the dreamer of the dream and once dream't is reified as reality. Darkness externalizing flashes of omni-sentient phosphorescence, as a breath(ing) exhaled and inhaled to create and erect the illusion of separation: individuality created for the sake of immolation - the grand sacrifice of self to Self, for self is Self-begotten!"

~ Verse 8, Spectral Effigies: A Vulvic Trans-Missionary

* All images and written work © Patrick John Larabee. Not to be used without permission.

To see more artwork of mine please visit:

02 September, 2012

The Verdant Skull of Qayin...

 "Forth come from Lands of Nod,
from the East I await your arrival,
a brilliant Light from all Darkness born,
as the Sun illuminates the Night,
make Thyself known unto my Sight!

I call unto you, QAYIN!
Master of the Dead and Guide unto the Spirits of the Night,
I beseech Thee to come unto me in the Dark Mother's Name,
come forth from the Void of All,
Son of the Light!"

~ text taken from Whisperings from the Void: The Amaranthine Arcanum 
of Holy Image and Revealed Exegesis 
by Patrick J. Larabee
Copyright 2012 - All rights reserved. 

15 July, 2012

In the baptism of His wisdom...

O' Baphomet! Mystery of Mysteries!

I call Thee Black Goat of the Sabbat,
let the Light of Illumination shine!
From on high Thy radiance is as a hidden grace falling,
taken up by those who wonder the lonely road.
From betwist Thy Horns the Heavenly Numina blazes!
In the Darkest of Nights your Light reveals the path we shall walk.
Hidden, but seen by those with the Eye to See!
I ask Thee forth from the Dark to come,
as a Firey Brilliance as bright as the Sun!

Baph-Metis! Lord of the Horns!
Holy Androgyne! From Thy Double-Sexuality I am born!

O' Baphomet! Horned Spirit of Eternity!

Come forth! King of Night's Delights and Master of the Midnight Sun!
Thou art Man and Woman!
Unity in Multiplicity!
The Many in ONE!

O' Baphomet! Lord of the Infinite Mysteries of True Midnight!

I seek Thee to Open the Gates of the Self's own Light!
I beseech Thee to reveal the Heart of All within All,
to grant a Vision both Infernal and Divine!
All that I am,
between Head and Foot,
is Thine!

Baph-Metis! Lord of the Horns!
Holy Androgyne! From Thy Double-Sexuality I am born!

O' Baphomet! Holder of the Flame of Gnosis!

I ask Thee to come forth!
As Thy servant I adjure Thee!
To bestow the Baptism of Wisdom,
to purge my Soul of the detritis of ages.
To uncover the Spirit's Light in Man!
To breathe forth the Breath of Stars,
the Heart-Fire to fan.

O' Baphomet! Great Goat-God of Mendes!

Thy Wings are all Space and Thy Light every Star!
And Your Benediction the Blessing and the Curse of Life.
For that which we seek is found in the Darkest Places of Wisdom,
until we enter the Gates of Thy Kingdom!
Grant me the understanding that all shall be endured,
for in Your Light we illuminate the Darkest of Nights!

Baph-Metis! Lord of the Horns!
Holy Androgyne! From Thy Double-Sexuality I am born!

~ From my forthcoming work Whisperings from the Void: The Amarathine Arcanum of Holy Image and Revealed Exegesis available from Aeon Sophia Press: http://www.aeonsophiapress.com/-PRE-ORDER_Patrick_John_Larabee_Whisperings_from_the_Void/p1293621_6551529.aspx

Copyright - Patrick Larabee and Aeon Sophia Press - 2012

05 June, 2012

Finding joy in adversity...

Life is an adventure, it is a journey, full of all the joy and hope and sorrow and sadness that anyone of us, I am sure, can give testament to. We each have come upon our own trials and tribulations, have found ourselves head first up against the many barriers and walls that so often seem to be right there in front of us; do we knock them down, climb over them, or as is often the most simple, just walk around them til we get to the other side? I have found that rather than avoiding a situation it is best to confront it, this is of course the hardest path to take because it causes the most friction, it give us the most resistance. But it must be said that by facing our problems head on, facing up to what blocks us, we learn, we progress through a "hard time", and rather then simply ignoring such an occurence we deal with it, move on, and don't have to worry about it rearing its ugly head again.

Each thing that we have to fight for, work for, is worth more! It can definitely be said that life would be easier if we simply just didn't care enough to fight our way through and then just sailed on our merry way, but I don't thnk life is meant to be easy. I mean if life were meant to be this paradise of bliss and joy and fulfilled desire there would not be this constant yearning to become more, to learn more, to experience more. Life is hard, we each know that, but how often do we contemplate that each and every situation we have been through is in fact a piece of a puzzle that is perhaps to large for our human eyes to see, that even though we might not be able to see the "big picture" does not mean that we should stop searcing for the "pieces" that make it complete. That is life, life is the desire to complete the "picture", to obtain those bits and pieces that go to make us a whole.

We should not be afraid to face things head on, to confront our adversaries, to overcome out obstacles; when we do so we are the ones who lose, no one else, just us. I wish I could say otherwise, but no ones else cares enough either to do it for you because they are too busy getting through, or avoiding, all of their own barriers in life. It must be said though that when we do face these barries in our life and come to terms with our life situation and circumstances, we win more than we ever could lose. It is frightening I admit, and one must be courageous and bold and have strength, but really it is a matter of Will and of Heart, because really once we know what we seek, most of us would say Truth, which is the foundation of both the True Heart and the True Will, we know that with each ordeal that is passed we are one more step closer to discovering Truth; which is really just us removing the veils of illusion that hide from us that we are ourselves manifestations of Truth, that we Love and that we are Beauty incarnate.

I know many will say it's too hard, it is difficult, but that is the way of all things. All that is worth anything, is something that must be worked for, those who seek the easy way out leave this life with just about as much as they came into it with. We all want so desparately to Become, not more, not greater, but simply to BE. The conundrum in all of this however is that in order to Be we must Become, and if we are to Become, we have to embrace Life in all it's aspects, the good, the evil, the joyous and the sorrowful, we can not accept one half of Life, ignoring the other half, and expect to have anything but a mediocre life. If we want to live life to the fullest we have to dive head first into the pool and just hope we don't drown. Avoidance is the fool's route and not much will be reaped from walking this path but fools gold, and that is nothing.

Remember, that our time here is limited and yet we each fill that our Work is more than we could ever accomplish, in fact it is so, that not one of us ever completes the work of the Soul in just one lifetime. Does this mean we forfeit the work that needs to be done simply due to its being "too hard"? No, this means that we press on with the daily reminder that Death is always at our doorstep, knowing each day that passes could be our last, and with this thought in mind we must really get on with it or we get left behind; or even worse, we regret when the day comes for us to "meet out maker" and we wish we would have done things differently and with that will come the horrible realisation that it's too late.

By going through the darkness we come to the light enshrined therein. Do not be afraid.

25 May, 2012

Whisperings from the Void - New Book Via Aeon Sophia Press

I would like to take a moment to announce that in August my very first book will be published via Aeon Sophia Press.

Pre-order reservations are not being accepted.

Whisperings from the Void: The Amaranthine Arcanum of Holy Image and Revealed Exegesis.

"From Thy Forked Tongue speak thy Gnosis from  Starry Heaven made,
and here cast down the Secret Seraph's Flaming Blade."
"Whisperings from the Void: The Amaranthine Arcanum of Holy Image and Revealed Exegesis'' consists of two books that are connected by various threads of thought and philosophy, emotion and praxis, devotion and gnosis. Though sundered, they do united become whole; the force and the form of a path straying between the realms of night and day.
~ BOOK I ~
Book I: The Path of the Hermit- an anthology of essays which seek to illuminate by way of written word and artistic fashioning myriad interests regarding such topics as the Void, the Undefined Desire of the Universe as both source and foundation of the material Cosmos the Womb and opposing Tomb of all existence; the nature of the Self and Consciousnes. The Dualism of Subject and Object including the ever present reality shared between each; A personal account of the Unseen world existing in tandem to our own, as well as its effects upon us and vice versa. The Mask and the Mystery; the reality of the Soul and its placement within the Sorcerous Arte, the inheritance of Sorcerous Fire from the Witch Goddess, and the concept of discovery and growth through adversarial opposition. The lighting of the darker paths of wisdom, locating there the ever blazing flame of the Art Magical behind all veils; The true Solitary nature of the Path towards Discovery of Divinity. Of seeking to examine the multitude aspects of Being both as spiritual and earthly entities, as well as exploring our individually created and maintained universe in terms of the emotive, mental, imaginative and phantastic emanations.
In many ways this work entire must be considered ‘liminal’ in that it inhabits a space betwixt: between the auspices of writ and limn and so too of the peripheries of waking and dreaming, leading beyond worlds of spirit and of the flesh in order to issue forth from a domain of devotion and praxis, Balance and Beauty, the gnostic revelation of Lux Veritas.
Amidst all this is also featured the artwork series ‘Hermit Pathos’: 12 full page renderings, representing various concepts not readily identifiable through the conventions of articulated word, as well as a collection of sorcerous sigils acting as Keys to the world existent beyond all which is scribed: to bypass the filters of conscious mind via symbol, ordaining the opening of the gateways to the unseen and unconscious self to pour through into our world and behold the shadow-realm with eyes of pure light.
"On another level, purely visionary one could say, there exists within us an ‘eye’ of sorts, not just any eye but a Spiritual Eye, that sees and beholds ALL. It resides in the deepest parts of ourselves and yet never ceases to watch, to observe, to look out as well as within.  This Eye could be said to be the equivalent of the Third-Eye, the Ajna, the source of what has over time become know as the ‘Second-Sight’, it is via this inner ability to see both the seen and the unseen that we experience visions, partake of the Imaginal worlds, and have the ability to ‘see’ into other worlds, other dimensions. It through attuning this Spiritual Eye through various means such as occult praxis and meditation, rites and rituals, devotion and hard work that we start to open up to the invisible worlds around us, to actually hear the Voices of the Gods and Spirits, and to partake of that Grander Vision of the Universal and Infinite Godhead."

Book II: The Book of Blood- A treatise of prose serving to describe by various means the Path and Praxis of the Sorcerous Arte: containing prayers, devotionals, rites and modes of Praxis which commit to explaining in detail particular aspects of ritual and spirit-congress, including but not limited to: icons and invocations unto the Masculine and Feminine aspects of the Godhead through various masks called herein the Holy Sorcerous Daemonic Host; those Devils and Angels of the Arte otherwise known as the Intelligences who preside as Patrons of the Dark Arte: a path trampled through the Lands of Nod, those Dreaming Worlds of the Soul leading to the Spiritual fountain of Wisdom.
As a collective of work based upon profound personal experience and dedication to the very Gods typified within, we once more bear witness to the same dynamic fusion of prose and art which includes a series of invocations and sigillic accompaniments pertaining to each God and Goddess by which the complete manifestation of Libri ab Sanguis is intended as presented here through a succession of mystery-rites.

Libri ab Sanguis as featured here in a series of 19 full page icons along with their accompanying text and insignia shall reveal through such twin aesthetics another set of Keys which open out into the vistas of Spirit. Each deity named and petitioned represents a power and as such all image becomes a gateway revealing sigils, features and habitations which both veils and reveals their essence. Though these are but masks they allow equally the discovery of means by which they may be lifted and through which understanding of their true nature may be realised; each must be engendered and embraced if one is to locate the heart of each Mystery as it is envisioned.
"Rituals and rites are about congress with the unseen powers of the Universe, within rite we consciously interact with the powers of Heaven, Earth and the Underworld, with Gods and Spirits both Empyrean and Infernal, it is about experiencing the spiritual aspect of reality whilst incarnate, a way of enfleshing upon the Earth the Mysteries of the Eternal. It can be seen as a process that brings the seeker into communion with Divine Presence and Wsdom, Spirit unto spirit, Soul unto soul and Self unto self, it is about reaching out into Otherness."
Each work spoken of above is herein bound and presented as a single breath, One heart: in order to inform and ensoul its twin through a chaotic interplay of artistic phantasia and gnostic revelation.
"In the Blackest Light of Azazel I Illuminate the Secret House of
the Hidden God: shine I with the Radiance of the Divine ever concealed
beneath the Veils of Flesh!"

10 March, 2012

And the Shadow is cast....

So often we live in a world that only we can see, a world that is wholly ours and in becoming aware of both others and Other, we seek to project ourselves into and upon it in order to make sense of their existence when in reality they exist for the exact same reason you do, just because. There is not fault in this, there is no one way to view it, it simply is. It is hard to make room for people in your life when one already has the whole world crowding in, stooping over like a vulture that is just waiting for you to die so it can feed upon the carcass of your remains, of what is left when you give up. The thing is that when we decide to give up, when we tire of trying, we seek to place the blame on someone else, we seek to shift the responsibility to another, to someone outside of ourselves, to Other.

We blame family, friends, loved ones, 'God', all the while never truly realising that we are the ones who have made the decision to let go, to stop fighting, to give up, to become carrion for the vultures, this weight can never be placed upon the shoulders of another, as hard as we may wish it could be so, it cannot be and when we try to force it we only ever hurt those who are only trying their hardest to be there for us, to help us, to love us.

Life is hard and living is even harder, but in realising that some will only try and cover it up makes it even worse. I have realised that we see the worst in others because we possess that within ourselves and when we chose not to realise that we are the ones projecting, transferring these darknesses onto those we have in our lives is when we attack them for being what is essentially ourselves.

There is a bible quote that I find to be apt for this subject and it goes "So why do you see the piece of sawdust in another believer's eye and not notice the wooden beam in your own eye?" and it is because rather than attacking ourselves for a specific unwanted behaviour we would rather attack someone else for it, it's like fighting a battle with yourself but using another person to fight it out, in the end however nothing is resolved and we only wind up hurting others in the process.

I have always found so much truth to the words inscribed above the entrance of the Delphi Oracle, where it says "Know Thyself", we have all read these words repeated in so many books of wisdom, spoken by teachers since ancient times, and yet how many of us truly know what they mean? I cannot say I truly know but I do have my own ideas and here I will share with you those ideas, it seems that so often we forget ourselves in relation to a world that is just as diverse as the thoughts in our heads, we wish to know and yet we take no time to acquaint ourselves with the knower, the seer, the watcher, the I inside, in seeking to obtain knowledge of the world and ourselves we seek outside of ourselves, taking what we find and applying it to ourselves rather than finding ourselves and applying it to the world, this can lay a difficult path before us as we then desire to become what the world wants, no, expects of us, rather then taking the world and making it ours.

We each are dealt a specific set of cards and we don't always end up with a good hand and many of us opt out rather than playing the game to the end, I can only gather that is a personal choice and one that we each must make as we play the game of life. But who really loses? The one who sticks it out even though they know they might not win or the one who gives up before all the cards have been played? I know this analogy has been spoken of before but perhaps people have never really thought about it as too many give up before the game is over.

I cannot and could not ever speak for everyone but I can speak for myself and I know that I am guilty of projecting my faults onto others, of attacking others for things I myself cannot deal with, does this make me a loser, does this make me a fool, does this make me a bad person? No. It makes me human. The human being is an enigmatic figure and one that I feel will ever be so, but does this mean that in the process we shouldn't strive to learn as much about ourselves as possible? I think it is our responsibility to discover as much as we can about ourselves, especially if we ever expect to hold a respectful and desireable relation to another. If we are constantly trying to outrun ourselves by projecting all of our faults, self-hatred, unfulfilled desires, sadness and failings onto others, onto Other, we miss out on half of lifes lessons. It is not easy to admit ones own faults, ones own shortcomings, but if we can muster just half the courage to admit that just half of what befalls us is of our own doing we open the door to the possibility to becoming so much more.

We so often attack others out of this need to place blame, to seek a release from the shadows that grip us and hold tight to us, when in truth the shadows are but the smaller parts of the light that surrounds us, we all get lost from time to time but I remember something that a great man once said " it is in straying that I found the path direct". We all lose our way from time to time, we all try so hard to become something other than exactly what we are meant to be and this is okay, at least we are trying, pushing ourselves, working on becoming more ourselves than we wish to be, we just need to be mindful and careful of whom we hurt in the process. No one is entirely happy with life, that's how it is, we either deal with it or we don't. But by giving up we lose that which is most precious, ourselves.

It is true when they say "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" but this is true of so much, not just beauty. For in the end the world we see is the world we behold via our own vision, it is as we are, not the other way around.

Shadow by Steven Kenny

27 February, 2012

An eternal Nature held forever within our hearts...

Recently on spending some much needed time out in Nature I had dawn upon me a revelation, one which I had thought on from time to time but never really given much time to. And this is the place that Nature holds in the more primeval/primitive and yet constantly changing and evolving Magical Artes, especically those areas known more specifically as Traditional Witchcrafts. It is from this realm that we drawn most of our inspiration and power, it is the home of much of our gnosis and knowledge within the Artes. Many of us have either been guided or chosen to enter into a direct communication or congress with the spirits of the Land and the intelligences that find their homes within the Realms of the Green, both benevolent and sinister, for that is the way of Nature, a blessing and a curse.

I went to a wooded area that, as a youth, I spent much of, it not all of my time running around in and this place held such magic for me, it was a home away from home. A true Eden, a Garden of Paradise, a retreat from the world of man in my childhood. I remember it vividly and all of it is remembered fondly. Yet, having visited this place years and years later, now as an adult. I noticed that the magic was gone, the trees bare, the paths overgrown, trash littered the forest floor and I could tell that this once beautiful place that was often frequented by not just myself but other children also searching for a place where they too could leave behind the cares of a world that has not much time for children.

As I walked down the now hidden paths that were once clearly defined and walked often, it dawned on me that this once marvelous and enchanted place that as I child I set aside, perhaps as the only place wherein I found any true sense of a god, had fallen into ruin and despair, that in so many ways it was now symbolic of the state of the world and the ideals that are now upheld by humanity, that nature, once it all its glory and held in reverence, had now become nothing more than a product,something to be used and abused, to be resourced and sold and bought by the highest bidder, only to be raped and ravaged. Destroyed. The magic was gone.

I was saddened by this, by the blatant, wreckless, and uncaring attitude with which this once truly holy place had come to be treated. Totally devoid of the magic that it once held, all that now stood there was a symbol of the world of man and his irreverence to anything truly holy and divine. I stood amidst the tress, in which I still saw glory trying to shine from out of a darkness, and yet I also stood amongst the trash thrown upon the ground from various generations, the soda cans, the refuse of the people to lazy to dispose of their garbage properly, the now rusted coffee tins that were jagged and bent, just like the people who left them there. But in so many ways I could still see myself as a child running through this one miraculous place, playing games with friends, riding my bike, building forts, and yes, doing magic that issued from my own innocence as a child is wont to do when the world of the adults if no longer impinging upon our minds, when we escape their desires and their needs to experience our own.

I now find myself wondering if it is us who hold the magic, that it is we who see through a veil of enchantment, of illumination, that it is our desire to see the beautiful and truthful aspects of a world that is so often left behind as we grow up that allows us to see what others refuse to even acknowledge? No, it is not simply we who possess this, for Nature, the Wilderness, IS MAGIC! It is a divine realm and one that we must now seek out and respect, for it has withdrawn from the many and is only revered now by the few. I can only hope and pray that one day, that children like myself and others who truly understand what place the natural world has in our lives, stand up and re-erect the Emerald Chapels of the Enchanted Realms of the Green.

In many ways I understand that we live in a dying world, but it is not yet dead and to treat it as such will only bring to you what you have sown and you shall wind up with the gold of the Fae, nothing! I pray that one day the world will be a brighter place, a balanced place, where each woman, man and child, can live in harmony with the world as it was when we were brought forth from its mighty and nurturing bosom, we have outgrown ourselves and forgotten our place.

We might be children of the starry heavens but this place is our home for the time being and as such it should be treated with the love, kindness and respect that it deserves. We are not alone here, this much is obvious to anyone who takes just a small amount of time to enter into this world within our own. Life is everywhere, and it possesses such beauty, such strength, and in it we will find the Truth we all seek if we but open our arms and our eyes to receive it once again and feel within our own beings that rhythm of Natures heart as it beats in pace with our own, for they are one and the same.

~Patrick Larabee

18 October, 2011

A Secret Unknown....

Within each and every thing there is a Secret held within a Secret, a Dark House Unseen that houses a Hidden God, it is this Truer Self that we aspire towards, it is our connection to the Gods. Those of us who walk the path of gnostic revelation seek ever the wisdom of these Gods and it is through Them that we are guided on the paths that each of our souls must take, not just within this life, but all lives; for it is They who have guided us here and it will be Them that guide us on from here, ever onwards through the spiraling path of spiritual evolution, through the massive Becoming that we all take part in every moment of our lives; whether it be known or unknown to us, we are all walking this path into Eternity.

Life, what is life but a series of experiences, of massive upheavels of consciousness, of an outreaching towards some great Unknown Mystery. What we seek is all around us and yet unseen, we feel it, we known it, we think about it, we conjure it and work with it, but it is ever a mystery, and the more we walk towards it the greater the mystery becomes. Eventually somewhere along the path we realise that it is Mystery that we seek, that it is the Unknown that we strive ever to grasp, and yet in our grasping of it we become a part of it, and how does one know Mystery when they themselves are that very mystery?

We must seek to know ourselves, and yet are not our depths inconceivable. Perhaps that is the Secret of Secrets, that no matter how much we try to uncover this Dark-Light within ourselves, we never see anything but it's shadows; that with every revelation, with every piece of knowledge picked from the Tree of Life, Wisdom and Death, we do nothing but remove a veil that shows but another veil.

What we are as human beings is but another veil, a dense and foggy veil, but a veil none the less. We are a thread in a massive tapestry woven from the things of this Universe, and beyond it; we are indeed the Sun, Moon and Stars, and more importantly our Souls are pieces of the massive Abyss of Space, pulled from the Void of All-Mystery, just as was the Black-God of the Sabbat when given birth by the Ancient of Ancients, the Goddess of All Darkness and the Queen of Heaven, Earth and Hell, so it has been from the beginning and so it shall be til the end.

We are the children of the Gods, we are selves of the Self, we are the masks of the Mask that covers the true face of the Ancient One of Spirit, the Ever-present and yet Ever-hidden Deity of the Void, from whence issues all of the Manifest and yet is the home of all that is Un-Manifest. The ONE of ALL!

We are all "I's:Eyes" of the I: the one Secret that lies an the Centre of All, the always moving, yet motionless being of Chaos! We each possess a secret within us that is the cause for this massive conglomeration of drawing together, it is at it's purest at Birth and at Death, it is untainted, unburdened, like a shining mirror that reflects the truth of the World and of Existence.

Our individual "I" is as a Pole, an Axis, that is the Centre of our own individual universe, and it is about this Axis of Sentient Luminosity that all that we are rotates, there is a Watcher within, the Great Ever-Open-Eye that exists within the depths of our being, it sees all, it knows all, it takes in all, it learns, it grows, it takes all for it's own pleasure, it does not differeniate between the sinister and the holy, it has no moral ground, it thrives on experience and seeks only to break its own laws in order to Become; it is in some ways a replication of the I:Eye that is at the centre of the Void, unknown and unknowing, yet assimilating everything, the source and the end; if there can truly be said that there is an end, that too is another mystery.

This much can be said, here there is Man, as a sentient being, containing within him a Light, a Hereditary Spark thats speaks ever to his Unconscious Self revealing unto his Dayside self the origins of his being, speaking of many things forgotten and covered long ago in mans search for a permanent truth here, in this world, and then there is the Universe, the massive deep, the Void of all Space, Time and Being; each Self reaches out into this Otherness to develope some understanding of our place here upon this Terrestrial Sphere, this world which is but one of millions of worlds, one manifestation that has issued forth from the Multitudes of Being.

As is the way of the seeker of the Eternal, all that has been said here is just one selfs ideation of personal principles, all is truth and all is a lie, a mask and mirror, and as such shall remain, as does the Mystery, a secret unknown...

By Patrick Larabee

26 September, 2011

Sayings from my Soul, Part 1

~ Humanness is a Mask and one that is worn for but a short time. We are more than we know, and the first step is side-stepping the Flesh and stepping into the sphere of the Spirit. Zazas zazas nasatanada zazas!!

~ My Light is shown darkly through Mask and Mystery, and yet my Darkness burns bright.

~ The All-Consciousness: I

~ Who will be left...after my death...to fear being dead? We dream of death while living...perhaps the dead dream themselves more alive...then ever we were.

~ "I": flux, current, or an indefinite series of insubstantial states.

~ Self takes self in self-sacrifice, not always an easy path to take. For some of us the road is lined with a sweet-smelling bait, to catch, to ensnare us, to trap and trick us. But in the going is the Way, not to give up provides us with the light that brightens our nights.

~ I have gone beyond Death, and in that darkest of darknesses I have a seen a Light!

~ All the world as we know it, "reality", is simply realisation; it is revelation.

~ Verily the truth be as such, that the Wise know nothing and the Fool knows everything, and yet somewhere in between the Wise and the Foolish they are indeed become one and the same; so perhaps, the Wise-Fool knows and understands everything about nothing, or rather, knows nothing about everything...?

~ The Cross'd-Roads is the Intersection of an Infinite Number of Possible Realities.

~ We are the Shadows cast by our Inner Light.

~ Read your books, contemplate, think, research, but live your life too!! Love and be free, and remember to always follow the Path of the Spiritual Heart. For once the Spiritual Heart is discovered, all becomes a part of that Massive-Mother-Beat that reverberates throughout all of the Existent, and even into the Beyond!

~ If you seek the secret of Life you must go to Death and ask Him for it directly; I did so and you know what He told me: "Live my child, live!"

~ Those who focus too much on the Mask, the Flesh of themselves, and not enough on what is emanating through it, the Essence, create an obsession of the Ego. When one fails to recognise the current manifestation of their Light as simply one Form in an endless series of Forms they create a Legion of Demons, of Adversarial Entities, with which they are in constant battle.

~ LOVE: it's not just one thing, it's not just one feeling, it's not infatuation, it's not being in love and yet it is a part of that, being in love is not LOVE although LOVE is being in love. It is every single emotion in one, it is so much more than any one thing. It's new and it's old, it's joy and sadness, the very thing that makes one the happiest is also the very thing that can make one the saddest, it's invigorating, it's frightening. It leaves one vulnerable, but in that vulnerability one also loses themselves in the other, in their love, and the loss of self is somewhat comparable to bliss. Love is so complex and yet the most simple of all all things, the intricasies are beyond understanding and yet the most easiest things to feel, to sense. Sometimes it is blind as they say, but I think it not blind as in cannot see, but more so in an "eyes wide shut" kind of way.

~ Self-Remembering, or Self-Recollectedness, leads to the Knowledge of the Inner Knower.

~ One must say the words, it not matter what words you say; so long as they be Words of Power for you. But they must be said, it is the words that you speak that shape the reality you live in. So start the changes by speaking the words that will catalyse the changes into manifestations.

~ A Man is Legion, He is Many. Yet all this Many comes from One, and this One is the Eye of the I of the Seekers Inner Heart of Hearts.

~ Soliloquy: Self-Talk, Verbal Contemplation, an Exclamation of Inner Processes and Mental Divergences, although usually tending to be of a positive and illuminating nature; yet possibly revealing Shadow Aspects of the Self.

~ The Body is Vessel to the Ever-Changing Spirit of the Seeker.

by Patrick Larabee
All rights reserved - NO PERMISSIONS GRANTED

22 September, 2011

In the Darkest Places of Wisdom...

In our modern times it is all too common for knowledge to be garnered from the internet, or other more obvious places, books, television, word of mouth, etc. I believe, however, that there was once a time knowledge, so-called, was found in much darker places. I can imagine a time, perhaps not so long ago, when knowledge, or maybe even wisdom, would have been a hard won treasure, something someone had to work for, it was never just given, some would say it was found, discovered even.

There is a place within us that reacts to the world around us, and through that interaction, within the subjective mind-space, one developes a special kind of knowledge, a unique kind of knowing that can only come from ones own especial interaction with the objective world. It is often in these dark inbetween spaces, these liminal zones between the subjective and objective, between the inner and outer, that an uncanny and otherworldly kind of wisdom can rise to the surface of an attuned mind.

It could be said that here, this place where two worlds bleed one into the other, that it becomes possible for the retrieval of what is commonly know as 'forbidden knowledge', a wisdom that comes from the night, from ones dreams, from sadness, from the places outside of the limits of society, from more, some would say sinister, but I would say balanced, spiritual paths.

When one looks out into the star-studded heavens, into the void, the abyss of space, that somehow holds all of this life, this beauty, and yet itself remains untouched, cold, detached, and like unto death, we are so often reminded of a distant and yet somehow familiar feeling of belonging, of yearning, of a desire to return to the void; a dissolution of the self into all of the dark spaces inbetween all of the points of light, the stars, the suns, within the abyss.

There was a time when being out at night, amid the wild places of the world, underneath the starry sky, one could, in more one ways then one, discern in some small way our true position amongst this great mystery of life, death, and becoming. Sometimes an even greater mystery, although harder and much rarer to discover, would be revealed, that of un-becoming; of some kind of distant memory of a great darkness, peaceful and homelike, and yet to our small and limited, human-bound awarenesses, quite terrifying - the Great Unknown, the Void, the Abyss, the ultimate Mystery of Mysteries.

It is also in the night, under the spell of the sandman, when we dream. Within these dreams we often learn of a far more superior, yet often times disembodied, more powerful and yet at times puzzling and enigmatic self. A self, although less confined by the laws and regulations of the ego, is still very much wrapped up in the ways of the flesh and much indeed at the pull and whim of desire. Yet here, at night, in our beds, asleep and within our own heads, we can often times find ourselves much more alive than in our waking lives. Some even prefer their dream worlds to waking reality, some at times totally forsaking the one for the other; which in my opinion is never a good thing and can often lead to a life of delusion and fantasy. There is definitely a great need for balance when it comes to the utilisation of dreamt of knowledge within the reality of the everyday.

Once people even looked to their darker emotions as a place of great learning, many times making great discoveries from overcoming their blackest moments. Many a people, and I am one of these people, so I speak from experience, when hitting rock bottom, the darkest places of sadness, and sorrow, and despair, come forth from this place, as a light shining brighter than ever before. Having once been down, as low as one can be, they can only ever look upwards and onwards. There are always those though who never do make it back from these darker places within themselves, being so overtaken by them that even the smallest remaining light is extinguished, and they become naught but hollow shells walking in a dead world.

There also was a time when great affectation was given to times of trial and tribulation, often seen as an adversary, an opponent to be overcome. Many of the hardships that once befell people were actually the very things that lead to much of the technology that is, often times wrongly, used in our world today. Had the people of the past not had it so bad there is a very real chance that much of what we take for granted today would simply just not exist.

Living off the land, preparing for the more bitter and life-endangering seasons, guarding and protecting loved ones from the great wilderness that often assailed them from all sides, can well be seen as the very reason for the developements in the modern world, wherein we are safe, usually, protected from the elements and the wild, feed, kept warm, etc., contented and numbed to the very real world that awaits each and every single one of us, right outside our front doors, in the darker places of wisdom....

by Patrick Larabee

20 September, 2011

Liber Falxifer II - The Book of Anamlaqayin - All Hallows Eve Release

The long awaited Liber Falxifer II will soon be with us, now scheduled for release on the Night of the Dead, Samhain 2011. This is going to be a grand work and those whom work the Current of 182 I am sure will find this tome to be of immeasureable value.

To reserve a copy please go to: http://www.ixaxaar.com

The Book of Anamlaqayin

The Second Book of Master Falxifer will delve further into the Necrosophic mysteries of Qayin, but will also cast a Black Light on some crucial aspects previously hinted at and at the same time veiled in the first book of the Left-Handed Reaper. One of these crucial aspects concerns the identity of and the gnosis granted by the Hidden Mother of Our Bloodline, the Bride of Qayin.

The Second Book of Falxifer shall continue where the First Book left off, as the purpose of all the publications of the T.F.C. is to make available the initiatic tools needed by Those of the Blood in order to awaken and set ablaze their slumbering Pneumatic Flames.

The Second Book will once again present an extensive set of both worded and wordless manifestations of Sorcerous Gnosis and provide access to previously hidden keys to both low and high forms of Necrosophic Nigromancy, Necromancy, Ancestral Veneration, Herbal Sorcery and Daemonology and give new detailed instruction about how the powers of the insignias, talismans and fetishes of the Lord of the Harvest can be further employed in order to achieve both temporal and spiritual power, victory and transcendence, all by walking in the fiery and blessed footsteps of the First Ones who traversed the Paths of Nod.

Some of the topics presented within the Second Book of Our Master are: esoteric discourses revealing the mythic foundation of our Qayinite Gnosticism, the Veiled Bride of Qayin, Her secret formulas of Calling and Names of Power, Her sigils and Keys of both high and low sorcery, the Dark Dead and their hidden and most fearful aspects, the cleansing, protective and empowering baths, the herbal formulas and activations of the 7 Key Sigils of Death, the Mysteries of 72 Black In Green, the powers of the First Tiller and the workings of His Green Point of the Skull, the rites of protection and concealment, the creation, loading and consecration of the aspect-specific fetish of the Lord of the Mound, the secrets of the First Dead within the Cult of Death and His Sigils of Conjuring, talismanic work against the law, the formula and ritual for the making of the Ensouling Tinctures of Qayin, the unified and transcendent aspect of the Twin-Flame of Sataninsam and the Grand Kliffotic Sigil of their Spirit, further teachings concerning the Mighty Dead, prayers, invocations and talismanic forms used for the channelling of the powers of both the soul and the spirit of Qayin and much more.

Those who have faithfully and correctly worked with and internalized the teachings offered in the First Book of the Left-Handed Reaper will, in this Second Book of our Holy Saint of Death and His Bride, receive the instruction needed to further experience the initiatic empowerments, blessings and curses of our Necrosophic Tradition.

For the Glory of the Thrice Crowned Lord and Lady
of the Ebon Skull.


Find below the chapter listing released by IXAXAAR:-

Regular Edition of 1200 copies

Regular Edition: Hardcover book in black cloth with a gold stamping of Sigil of Anamlaqayin on the cover, black endpapers, gold silk-ribbon bookmark. Fullcover dustjacket. 474 pages, numerous illustrations. First Edition of 1200 copies, each book consecrated and handnumbered.

To reserve a copy please go to: http://www.ixaxaar.com

13 September, 2011

Esoteric Book Conference

I had a great time at the 3rd Esoteric Book Conference in Seattle, WA with my love. Had my first artshow ever and I would consider it successful. Met up with some long time friends from online for the first time in person, had some great conversations, saw some great art and heard a few really amazing lectures.